Skinny Love Part 41
You stood with your eyes squeezed shut, hoping when you opened them this would all just be a bad dream and you would wake up in bed with Harry like none of this ever happened. No abuse scandal, and no sex tape.
But when you opened your eyes you were still in your living room with your best friends, and four out of the five members of One Direction standing around you waiting for your reaction. How exactly were you supposed to react? The whole world was now able to see your boyfriend having sex with someone else. It made you uncomfortable, and it made you angry.
Of course you were never under the impression that Harry and Lucy never had sex, but you certainly didn’t need a reminder. That’s the the kind of thing you like to pretend doesn’t exist for your own ego. Knowing that there was a video of them was unsettling. It wasn’t as if he had cheated on you, but it still hurt.
“How…she released it?” You asked, trying to understand exactly how his happened.
“Well, she’s saying that Harry did, which obviously isn’t true. He didn’t even know it existed.” Liam explained. “We all think it was her. Always playing the victim.”
“I’ll give her something to cry about.” You mutter under your breath. “We’re sure it’s him?” You ask, trying to find a loophole.
“Oh, it’s definitely him.” Louis confirmed.
“Damn it! I could ring her neck!” You shout.
“I’m not sure murder would help this situation.” Zayn chimes in.
“Yeah, well it would make me feel better.” You vent. “I’m sure she would love that. Everyone would remember Harry Styles ex-girlfriend being murdered by his current girlfriend. Er, sorry. Mistress. That’s what she wants everyone to think I am.”
Everyone looked at you like they were worried that you might actually kill Lucy.
“Oh, come on guys! I’m only joking.” You tell them. “I’m not going to kill her…maybe just rough her up a little bit.”
“I’ll help.” Louis volunteers.
You shoot Louis a angry look. He was just about the last person you wanted to be talking to at this moment. You couldn’t help but feel like some of the blame lay with him. This all started with him, and instead of trying to put an end to it by telling Harry what was really going, he was letting this all play out.
You were furious with him for not seeing that Harry was struggling. Louis didn’t understand that for Harry that relationship he had with Lucy was as well as any other. It was hurting him to know what someone he thinks loved him was now treating him like a villain. How could he not see that things could start to get better if he just confessed to what he’d done. He could be the one to expose Lucy if he wasn’t so afraid of how Harry would react to knowing the secret.
“Well, what’s the plan.” Bex asked. “What did management have to say about this?”
“Not much we can do other than deny that it came from Harry. Anyone that’s not an idiot will see what he’s just as surprised as everyone else to see that tape.” Niall says.
“We should just all be there for him.” Louis suggests.
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.” You scoff.
“Pardon?” Louis asked.
“Like you care about being there for him. You just want to cover your own ass!” You snap. You couldn’t take it anymore, and you weren’t going to let it go on any longer.
You storm out of the living room, and back into the bedroom where Harry is. You find him in the same position, but this time with his phone out. He was strolling through news stories, and had a very troubling look on his face.
You saunter over to his side, and promptly take the phone out of his hand.
“Why do you do this to yourself?” You ask him. “Don’t read this stuff, Harry.”
“I know, but I can’t help it.” He says. “It hasn’t even been 24 hours and its already everywhere. I’m assuming the guys told you?”
“Uh, yeah. They did.” You say, suddenly feeling uncomfortable again. Now that you were actually addressing it it was even more real.
“I didn’t release that. I swear! I didn’t even know it existed.” Harry assured you, beginning to panic.
“Harry, calm down. I know! I know you didn’t have anything to do with this. You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I’m not under Lucy’s spell.” You tell him.
“Are you okay?” Harry asked. “I know this must be weird for you.”
Of course he would ask how you were, and of course he would know that something like this would bother you. Once the thought was put in your head it was hard to let go of. But you couldn’t make this about you. There were things that Harry had to know, and you had to tell him before you lost your nerve.
“No, yeah. I’m fine.” You say. “I mean it’s weird to think of. But it was the past. I’m just going to have to ignore it. But theres something-“
“You’re not fine.” Harry observes. “I’m sorry about this. I really am. I don’t even know what I can do to make this okay. ”
“Stop apologizing to me. You are the one that’s been wronged.” You tell him. “I’ll get over this. I’ll forget about it, because it’s not me in the video. Are you going to be okay?”
He thinks for a minute. “It will die down right? It has to. Until then I’ll just ignore everyone calling me an insensitive pervert, with no respect for women. I can just pretend they aren’t saying that I exploit women for my own advantage.”
“So, not okay.”
“It’s just so personal. That video took something that should be private, and intimate, and loving, and turned it into a news story made to make me look like the bad guy, and for what!?” He shouts in frustration.
You pull him into a hug, and hold him tightly. You felt so bad for him. He’d probably never done a single negative thing to that girl. She didn’t care that he no doubt treated her like a princess, she just wanted to make sure that people knew who she was. The only word you could think of to describe her was a robot. You couldn’t understand for the life of you how or why she was able to do this.
What you did understand was that Harry was hurting, and you had the power to help him understand that this was not his fault. He was beating himself up trying to figure out what he did wrong, or why Lucy could hate him so much. You knew that he would never come up with anything unless you told him.
You savored this hug, remembering the moment before you told Harry this secret. It might not make a difference, or everything could be different afterward. You hoped that he could still lean on you like this after he knew. You prayed that it wouldn’t change your relationship too much.
Who were you kidding, this was going to changed everything. You knew that just the keeping of the secret would hurt him more than what the secret was even about. But you couldn’t let that deter you; it was important that he knew.
You pull away from the hug, and take a deep breath. “I don’t think that this is personal.”
“How is it not? She’s ruining my life.” He said.
“But, I don’t think that’s what it’s about for her. I think she’s after something else.” You tell him.
“What? Are you defending her?” Harry asked.
“No! No, definitely not. What she is doing is shameful. But there’s a reason…a plan.”
“What are you talking about?” He asked, confused. “You sounds like you know something.”
This was it.
“I do. I know something, and it’s something that you should have know months ago. And I really hope that you understand why I kept it from you.” You say.
Harry moves away from you a bit. “Tell me.”
You take a long pause.
“It’s okay. You can talk to me.” Harry assured you.
“I’m sorry, Harry. I am. I should have told you this.” You ramble, as you start to panic and tear up.
“Calm down, love. I’m sure you’re just overreacting about whatever this is about.” Harry says as he wipes the tears from your face. “Just breath.”
You take another deep breath, and say, “I know the reason Lucy broke up with you.”